


The Knowing Series

by angelskuuipo



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Doctor Who- Ninth Doctor
Genre: Early Work, GFY, Gen, I'm not sure how to tag this, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, One of My Favorites
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-12
Updated: 2014-06-12
Packaged: 2018-02-04 08:51:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1773139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelskuuipo/pseuds/angelskuuipo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They all know something.  It's a matter of getting to the same page.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Offer

**Author's Note:**

> Original AN: My first Doctor Who fic. Not quite what I had in mind, but I couldn’t actually get the guys nekkid. Thanks be to Elisabeth for the beta.
> 
> Originally posted 2-14-08.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack knows more than he ever let on.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was late, Rose had gone to bed more than an hour ago, when Jack walked into the library with a bottle of Jameson’s and two tumblers. The Doctor looked up from the book he was reading and quirked an eyebrow at his companion. Jack gave him a ghost of a smile as he held up his prize and said, “You said I had to buy you a drink first.”

The Doctor closed his book and set it aside. “You know that was only to wind Mickey up.”

Jack shook his head as he poured. “I don’t think so. Well, maybe partly, but I think you meant it.”

Both of the Doctor’s eyebrows rose at that. “You sound very sure of yourself, Captain.”

Jack handed him the tumbler and leaned back against the table. He studied the amber liquid in his glass for a moment before finally meeting the Doctor’s eyes. “I can take it better than Rose.”

The Doctor blinked and took a sip. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Jack snorted softly. “The meeting of the minds, Doc. The reason you’re holding back.”

The Doctor’s eyes darkened and his jaw clenched as he looked away. “You’re grasping.”

Jack sighed and moved to sit on the couch. He said, “You and I both know that as much as you love her, she’s too young to really understand why it’s such a bad idea. She’d try, and she’d help in her own way, but she can’t handle all of your baggage.”

“She’s stronger than you think,” the Doctor said defensively.

“Of that I have no doubt, but Doctor…” he trailed off and waited until the other man met his eyes again. “Do you really want to risk that sweetness and light by exposing her to what’s in your head? Her innocence is your salvation.”

The Doctor looked at him stonily, but Jack’s calm never wavered. He’d learned a lot about his companions in the months they’d traveled together. Rose was a shining beacon of light and happiness for the two battle-hardened men and Jack didn’t want to see that glow dim for anything. He wanted to take care of her. Hell, he loved her, but he wasn’t good for her either. He wasn’t sure he knew how to really be intimate with someone anymore. It had been so long.

And the Doctor was just too damaged to take care of her properly. He’d seen first hand how his sometimes-thoughtless words affected Rose. Jack had almost bitten through his lip a couple of times when the Doctor would carry on about the stupidity of humans. Rose’s hand on his always stopped him from saying anything though. The sad, resigned look in her eyes told him that it wasn’t anything she hadn’t heard before. He didn’t like it, but she didn’t want a scene, and he respected her wishes.

Jack, on the other hand, was more than capable of holding his own with the Time Lord. Jack had no doubt the man’s shields were impressive, but he wore his guilt like a shroud and no amount of mental shielding could protect Rose from that kind of pain. He knew more about the Doctor’s species than he’d let on and he knew that Rose wouldn’t be able to handle all that making love to a Time Lord would entail. She might be able to hold the link, but the things she would see…even though Jack didn’t know all that the Doctor had been through, he had a fair idea and didn’t want Rose exposed to those kinds of memories.

“I’m not trying to come between you, but I am offering an outlet if you need it. My mind is strong enough to withstand whatever might happen.” He threw back the rest of his drink and got up. He looked at the Doctor and said seriously, “I love her, too. Think about it.”

Jack walked out of the library, leaving the Doctor contemplating his glass of whiskey.

-30-


	2. The Offer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose knows something is going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn’t just let it end there. There's one more after this. Thanks be to Elisabeth for the beta.
> 
> Originally posted 2-15-08.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Something was going on between Jack and the Doctor. Rose knew it; she just had no idea what it could be. It had started not long after they’d left Cardiff to take Blon the egg back to Raxicoricofallipatorious. The way the Doctor looked at him sometimes, almost like he hated him, it made her uneasy. Rose liked the three of them together and didn’t want to see that change. Jack made it easier to be around the Time Lord when he got on his high horse. He flirted with her and made her feel pretty and smart when the Doctor unwittingly cut her down. He kept her grounded when the whole meeting-aliens-and-running-for-their-lives-on-different-planets thing got to be a little overwhelming. He made her feel safe in a way the Doctor couldn’t.

The day she found Jack in the garden, tear tracks on his face and a shattered look in his eyes, she knew it was time to get some answers. She slipped out of the room and went to the kitchen. This was a conversation that required tea, and a lot of it. When she returned, it looked like Jack hadn’t moved and she made sure to make some noise so she wouldn’t startle him.

Jack still jumped a little and quickly wiped his face before fixing her with a tight smile. “Rose.”

She set the tray down on the ledge of the fountain then handed him a mug and sat down across from him. “You look like you could use it.”

Jack wrapped his hands around the mug and inhaled the steam. A shiver went through him and Rose touched his leg in concern. “You gonna tell me what’s wrong?”

He blinked at her and said hoarsely, “Nothing’s wrong.”

She snorted indelicately. “Bullshit. Finding you in here spaced out and crying is not an everyday occurrence. Try again.”

He looked at her, surprised by her swearing, but then looked away just as quickly. The silence stretched before Jack sighed and took a fortifying sip of his tea. He cradled his mug and stared at it as if it held all the answers in the universe. He wouldn’t meet her eyes when he said, “I bit off a little more than I could chew.”

Rose leaned forward and placed her hand on his leg again. She felt the muscles tense and started to remove it when he covered it with one of his. The residual heat from the mug faded rapidly and she felt the iciness of his hand. Something was seriously wrong. “Jack, please. Are you ill? Should I get the Doctor?”

He flinched at the name and Rose sat back, a vague suspicion niggling at the edge of her awareness. “What did he do?”

“Nothing I didn’t invite him to do,” Jack said swiftly.

Rose blinked at that. She hadn’t expected Jack to actually admit that the Doctor was involved in whatever had put him in this state. She knew they both thought she was in love with the Doctor, and she did love him, but she also knew nothing would ever come of it. The Time Lord was too intense for her, and to be honest, the thought of their relationship becoming more intimate scared her. He was possessive enough as it was. Adding sex to the mix was just asking for trouble and she’d had enough of that kind of pain with Jimmy Stones.

She loved Jack, too. He wasn’t quite like a brother, because the flirting they did was just wrong in that context, but she knew she was safe with him. She would have been insulted that he hadn’t tried to get into her knickers since the night they met if it weren’t for the fact that she knew he genuinely liked her and didn’t want to use her. She didn’t want to use him either. The three of them had managed to form a dysfunctional family of sorts and she thought the arrangement had been working for everyone.

“Are you injured?” she asked softly.

Jack shook his head. “It’s nothing physical.” He finally met her eyes. “I’ll be fine, Rose. Don’t worry about me.”

She gave me a crooked smile. “I love you, Jack. Of course I’m gonna worry. It’s in the handbook.”

He stared at her, openmouthed, and she wondered what she’d said to put that look on his face. Then she realized and she grinned. “What, you thought I’d never say it? I love the both of you, you know.” Her smile faded and she looked at him soberly. “I don’t expect anything from either of you. What the three of us have together is wonderful and I don’t want anything to spoil that.”

~*~

Jack closed his eyes and bowed his head. He let her take the mug from his lax hands and then he felt her wrap him in her arms. He sat there, cradled in her warmth, and let her presence soothe him. She started rocking him gently and one of her hands stroked through his hair. He let his guard down without even knowing.

It had taken the Doctor a month after their conversation in the library to take him up on his offer. He really had thought he was prepared for whatever the Time Lord could dish out.

Oh, how wrong he was.

The Doctor was angry with him for bringing it up, angry at himself for wanting or needing the release, and he’d set out to show Jack just what he was capable of. He’d held nothing back and Jack felt as drained and wrung out as he had when he woke up with two years of his life missing. He had offered himself to the Doctor to try to help in the only way he knew how. He didn’t know if it had worked, but he knew he couldn’t go through it again.

How the Doctor managed to function with that much pain and anger running through him, Jack didn’t know. He was just glad that Rose had been spared.

“I wanted to spare you the pain,” he said softly.

The hand stroking his hair paused and she said, just as softly, “I don’t understand.”

He snuggled in closer to her without opening his eyes. He murmured, “Making love to a Time Lord involves a mental link. It opens you both to each other’s emotions and memories. It makes the act honest and real. I didn’t want him to hurt you with what was in his head.”

The rocking stopped, but her arms tightened around him. She asked quietly, “So you let him hurt you instead?”

“I thought I could handle it. I probably could have if he hadn’t been hell bent on teaching me a lesson.” Fresh tears made their way silently down his cheeks, but he didn’t notice. The gentle rocking started again and he sighed. “God, Rose, what he’s seen, what he’s been through, what he’s _done_. I don’t know how he goes on.”

She pressed a kiss to his forehead. “He doesn’t know any other way. When I first met him, I think he was ready to chuck it all. He wasn’t ready for me. I surprised him and gave him a reason to keep going. He tried his damnedest to get rid of me, but I’m not so easily shaken.”

He smiled at that. “No, you’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever met.”

He could hear the smile in her voice when she said, “Thanks,” but it faded quickly. At the touch of her hand on his cheek he opened his eyes and looked up at her. She looked more serious than he’d ever seen her as she brushed away his tears. “Jack, I don’t want that kind of relationship with him. I love him, but I couldn’t handle it, and I knew that even before you told me about this mental link. Please don’t let him hurt you again, especially not for me.”

Jack studied her, _really_ looked at her, and he saw it: the knowledge that came with bitter experience. Someone had hurt her at some point and the experience had left its mark. He wanted to know, but now wasn’t the time to ask. The Doctor had been right, Rose was stronger than he knew, probably stronger than the Doctor knew.

He pressed his lips to hers, a thank you without words. She returned the kiss sweetly then laid her cheek on top of his head when he curled into her warmth again. “I love you, too, Rose,” he whispered as the beat of her heart lulled him to sleep.

-30-


	3. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor knows he made a mistake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It all comes full circle. Thanks be to Elisabeth for the beta.
> 
> Originally posted 2-16-08.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The Doctor knew he’d made a mistake. He’d hurt Jack, and despite how much the younger man annoyed him on occasion, that really wasn’t something he’d wanted to do. The lad had only been trying to help. He hadn’t deserved the full fury of a broken Time Lord to be unleashed on his psyche.

But the Doctor didn’t do apologies and he didn’t do explanations. Or that’s what he told himself anyway. Rose had heard the word ‘sorry’ on more than one occasion and he’d explained his actions quite a bit since she’d come on board. He still wasn’t quite sure how one silly human girl had managed to make such an impact on him, but she had. He only hoped she never found out what had happened, or he’d be on the end of another Tyler slap.

That hope was dashed when he looked into the garden and found Rose leaning against the base of the fountain with Jack cradled in her arms. The man looked shattered and the Doctor knew he was the one responsible. He could hear them talking and it was most illuminating.

“I wanted to spare you the pain,” Jack said softly.

The Doctor saw Rose pause in stroking Jack’s hair and she frowned down at him. “I don’t understand.”

“Making love to a Time Lord involves a mental link. It opens you both to each other’s emotions and memories. It makes the act honest and real. I didn’t want him to hurt you with what was in his head.”

The Doctor’s eyebrows rose. Jack really did know what he was talking about. He wondered just how the former Time Agent had come by his knowledge, but the thought slipped away at Rose’s next words.

“So you let him hurt you instead?”

He winced, but didn’t have time to wallow as Jack responded.

“I thought I could handle it. I probably could have if he hadn’t been hell bent on teaching me a lesson.” And he had been. If Jack was arrogant enough to think he could handle a Time Lord then the Doctor was going to take him down a peg or two. Rassilon, but he was an idiot.

The Doctor missed the next few minutes of their conversation, but returned his attention in time to hear Rose tell Jack that she didn’t want a sexual relationship with him. That was a little surprising, but it was also a relief. He cringed again when she asked Jack to not let himself be hurt by him again.

He wouldn’t, not like that, and not in any other way if he could help it. The Doctor left as quietly as he’d entered. Their next destination would be somewhere peaceful, he decided. They all needed a break.

He shouldn’t have been surprised when Rose entered the console room a couple of hours later, but he was. He glanced at her briefly then went back to pretending to pay attention to the monitor in front of him.

“You owe Jack an apology,” she said without preamble.

He closed his eyes for a moment before meeting her somber gaze. “Why do you say that?”

She glared at him and he took a step back before he caught himself. He didn’t cower from Daleks or Cybermen, but this young human had the power to scare him rigid. Not that he’d ever admit that to anyone. “You know bloody well what you’ve done, Doctor. I don’t care what kind of point you were trying to make, Jack didn’t deserve it. I know you heard us in the garden, so don’t try to pawn me off. I won’t stand for you hurting him.”

He was surprised that she’d known he was there, but didn’t let it show. Instead, the Doctor drew himself up and folded his arms across his chest. “Making threats, are we?”

Rose took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “No, I’m not makin’ threats, but Doctor you know what you did was wrong. He was only tryin’ to help. Why’d you do it?”

“That’s between me and him,” he said loftily. Truth be told, he didn’t really have an answer for her. Jack had challenged him, or he thought Jack had challenged him, and the Doctor had set out to win. Alpha male posturing at its finest.

Rose shook her head sadly. “I love you, Doctor, but I don’t much like you right now. I’ll be in my room.” She turned to go, but looked back when she got to the door. She asked, “If you’re so bound and determined to be alone, why do you let us travel with you?”

He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, but no sound emerged. Rose waited for a long moment then shook her head again and left. He stared after her for a long time before making his way to Jack’s room.

A knock on the door yielded no answer, but the Doctor opened it anyway. He found Jack sprawled out on his bed, sound asleep. He slipped inside and closed the door behind him. There was just space enough for him to sit next to Jack on the bed, so he did, and spent a few minutes studying the handsome face. His brow was furrowed and his body twitched as if caught in a nightmare.

The Doctor didn’t really think about what he was doing, he just put his hands on either side of Jack’s head and positioned his fingers just so. Then he found himself in Jack’s dreams and he rocked back in shock.

Carnage. That was the only way to describe what he was seeing. The Doctor was in the middle of a war zone, but it wasn’t the Time War. He looked around and spotted a much younger version of Jack a few yards away. He was beaten and bloody, but doing his best to carry another man away from the fight. Jack stumbled and the two of them fell to the ground. The Doctor watched as Jack held the other man and cried.

“I’m sorry, James, I’m so sorry,” Jack sobbed.

The Doctor took in the other man’s limp form and knew he was dead. He took a step forward, but stopped when Jack looked up and pinned him with panicked blue eyes. The panic faded and the younger Jack melted into the Jack the Doctor knew. Steely determination shone from his face and he said, “You shouldn’t be here, Doc. Get out of my head.”

The Doctor blinked and released Jack’s head immediately. He looked at his companion and found Jack’s blaster aimed at his head. He slowly put his hands up and eased into a standing position. Jack lowered his weapon and set it on the bedside table. He rubbed his hands over his face and muttered, “Sorry. Reflex.” When he looked up at the Doctor again, he looked confused. “What were you doing?”

The Doctor lowered his hands and said, “Came to check on you. Looked like you were having a nightmare. I was tryin’ to help.”

Jack shuddered and sat up, pulling his knees to his chest. He said, “I think you’ve done enough to my brain, don’t you?”

The Doctor winced and looked away, but turned back and met Jack’s eyes solemnly. “I’m sorry about last night, Jack. I took the gift you were offerin’ and twisted it into something dark and wrong. I took my frustrations out on you and that is inexcusable. I hope you can forgive me, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you wanted to leave. I’d understand.”

He turned to go, but stopped at Jack’s softly murmured “Wait.” He looked back and found Jack studying him intently. Finally, he asked, “Rose talked to you, didn’t she?”

The Doctor grimaced. “She might have mentioned my owing you an apology.”

“That the only reason you said it?” Jack asked mildly.

He shook his head. “No, it needed to be said, and I meant it. I am sorry for hurting you. You didn’t deserve what happened.”

Jack nodded in agreement. “No, I didn’t, but I did tell you I could handle it.”

“So you did, but you were right when you told Rose I was tryin’ to teach you a lesson.” He saw Jack’s eyes widen and grinned fleetingly. “Yes, Jack, I heard the two of you in the garden earlier. I mistook your offer as a challenge and wanted to prove you wrong. I really can be a stupid git sometimes.”

Jack snorted out a laugh. “No arguments there.” The Doctor considered protesting, but it was true and they both knew it. Jack sobered and asked, “So where do we go from here?”

He made his way back over to the bed and sat down. They stared at each other until Jack started to fidget. Before he could look away, the Doctor caught his chin and kissed him gently. Jack froze for a moment before his lips softened and he returned the kiss. The Doctor pulled away before it went too far and leaned his forehead against Jack’s.

“We go forward, Jack,” he said softly. He sat up and met Jack’s bemused blue eyes. He said, “Rose asked me why I let the two of you travel with me if I’m so determined to be alone. I didn’t have an answer for her.”

Jack studied him. “Do you have one now?”

He shrugged. “Not sure. It’s safer to be on my own, but I can’t stay away from you humans and your insatiable curiosity. Being with you and Rose makes all of this look and feel new again. I just don’t know if I can keep from destroying the two of you in the process.”

Jack tapped the Doctor’s knee. “We’re more resilient than you give us credit for, Doc. You just need to be a little more careful with your toys.”

“Oi! You lot are not toys.”

Jack grinned faintly. “I’m glad you realize that. We’ll be okay, Doctor. I really did know what I was getting into last night. I just needed some time to process. I knew you’d been through hell and back, I just didn’t realize how bad it would be.”

The Doctor inclined his head in acknowledgement. Then he said, “It looked like you’ve seen your fair share of bloodshed as well.”

Jack swallowed and looked away. “Yeah. Long ago and far away.”

The Doctor laid his hand over Jack’s restless one and said, “Maybe we could help each other forget for a little while.”

Jack looked at him in surprise, but gave the suggestion due consideration. Finally, he nodded. “Maybe, but not tonight.”

The Doctor nodded and stood up. “Not tonight. Sleep well, Jack. We’ll be landing in a few hours.”

“Where are we heading?” Jack asked as he lay back down.

The Doctor gave him one of his manic grins. “Oh, just a little place I know in the South Pacific. I was thinkin’ some sun, sand, and surf would do the three of us some good.”

Jack grinned back at him. “That sounds like just what the doctor ordered.”

The Doctor groaned and rolled his eyes at the pun as he left. He stopped abruptly when he met Rose in the hallway. “Rose.”

She eyed him for a moment before stepping forward and giving him a hug. “Thank you,” she muttered into his jumper.

He wrapped his arms around her and held on. “I’m a bit thick sometimes, but I eventually catch on, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

It’d take some time to get back to the easy camaraderie the three of them had, but they’d get there. That’s what families did after all.

-30- 

**Author's Note:**

> New AN 6-12-14: Although I wrote a few more DW fics after this, this remains my favorite. I set up a different kind of relationship for the Doctor, Jack, and Rose than I was used to seeing and I like it. If I never write another Doctor Who story, I'll be sad, but I'm also okay with that, because I wrote this.


End file.
